The Killing has just ended its fifth season on Netflix, or possibly has not even aired its fourth season yet, or perhaps has been prematurely canceled there and skipped right ahead to a ninth season ordered by wild-eyed AMC executives who have moved beyond the concepts of linear time. All of these scenarios are equally plausible and, like so much on The Killing, easily ignorable, because the important thing is you can now buy many of the show’s sweaters. Yes, eBay is hosting an auction of many of the drama’s most famous sweaters, which kept its characters warm as they sat in cars and stared out of windows, pondering various mysteries. Mysteries that were knotted and interwoven like the finest of wool turtlenecks, and similarly, better left untangled.
Among these is the sweater worn by Rosie Larsen, whose murder had everyone asking, “Who Killed Rosie Larsen?” before realizing that it didn’t matter, because it was all about the journey. As you can see, it is white and pure, like her soul, and bedazzled with pretty things that are interesting to look at, but ultimately just fade into the background of nothingness, like her show. The tag reads “Jacob.” Could this be a clue as to her murderer? Again, it doesn’t matter.
Adding some variation to the Killing sweater sale, here is a hoodie worn by “Bullet,” the tough tomboy street kid who was a major part of The Killing’s third season. This is when the show totally flipped the script on its detractors by introducing new storylines and all-new types of sweaters. This one has a hood on it.
Also available are these jeans worn by Joel Kinnaman’s mushmouthed, bad boy Detective Stephen Holder. Like his soul, his jeans are tattered and distressed. They also have numerous pockets—possibly for keeping secrets. Too many secrets? Yes.
The jeans are believed to have been worn with a sweater.
Those whose tastes run a bit more, shall we say, eclectic can also bid on props from the series that were only handled by people wearing sweaters, you sick freak. These include “The Letter To Rosie Larsen” written to her by her pretentious high school teacher, Bennet. For a mere $30, now you too can read the letter again and again, and have it lead you on your own go-nowhere tangent.
For reasons that are yours and yours alone, you can also own bankcards belonging to the show’s detectives, which they used to buy their many sweaters. You can’t buy sweaters with them, however. These are fake.
At last, we have reached the Wooly Grail: The three “Sarah’s Sweaters” worn by Mireille Enos while she chewed gum, watched the rain trickle portentously down her windshield, and other things that are the hallmarks of good drama. These used, itchy-looking sweaters are going for $800 to $1,000 because they were once seen on The Killing. Why? That is a mystery not worth solving, my friends.