Screenshots: Realtor.ca

Let’s say you’re looking for a home in Brantford, Ontario. (Given the way things are going in America, who wouldn’t be, har har!) You spot a nice ranch-style home that, clicking through, seems to have been well-maintained, with a tidy garage and what appears to be a sturdy, hand-constructed fence. “This could be a nice place,” you think to yourself. “I could make this my home.”

Screenshot: realtor.ca

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Then you go inside. And you realize the house is occupied.

By clowns.

Screenshot: realtor.ca

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In every room.

Screenshot: realtor.ca

Even the bathroom.

Screenshot: realtor.ca

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And what is, presumably, “the clown’s room.”

Screenshot: realtor.ca

They watch you eat.

Screenshot: realtor.ca

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You must ask yourself, do they watch you sleep in the clown house? Do they silently wiggle in their plaster bodies toward you in the dead of night to make sure you sleep like an angel? Do they long to touch your downy hair as you rest without dreams? Do the clowns keep secrets? Are they their own secrets, or are they yours?

As we reported last month, real-life clowning has gone out of fashion as a result of the movie It’s resurgence and last year’s evil clown epidemic, so much so that real-life clowns of the non-evil variety are bemoaning the death of their art form. As one of those clowns told Mel Magazine last year, “It’s a dying profession. And the people who do it and scrape together a living have to grapple with the fact that it’s cool and hip not to like clowns.”

Hopefully those real-life clowns can rest easy in the knowledge that there is, quite literally, a home for them out there. And it’s in Canada!

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[via Alicia Lutes, Twiter]