Vampire's Kiss

Some people look at Nicolas Cage today and see a 51-year-old actor dedicated to the craft of making Nicolas Cage movies, but in reality he’s so much more. Recent years have lifted Cage to more of an ideal than a man, inspiring theories that all movies are just one Nicolas Cage movie—a revolutionary philosophy that changes all preconceived notions of Nicolas Cage, the film medium, and thus the world. For if Nicolas Cage is the star of every movie that has ever been or ever will be made (except for the ones about him), and Hollywood is a reflection of all our loftiest hopes and desires, are we not all Nicolas Cage ourselves?

Anyway, Variety reports that Cage is returning to the roots that helped launch his acting career into the Nicolas Cage-esque heights he enjoys today. The actor is re-teaming up for a new film with Mike Figgis, the writer and director of Leaving Las Vegas, which earned Cage a Best Actor Oscar in 1996. Exit 147, described by Figgis as “the kind of story that turns up once in a blue moon”—which for Nicolas Cage is about once a month—will star Cage as a policeman who gets caught up with two other people in “a series of sadistic mind games.” The other characters are said to be a woman escaping her abusive partner, and that same abusive man, whom Cage’s character arrests.

Exit 147 was written by Travis Milloy, is being executive produced by Matthew Rhodes and Annie Stewart, and will start shooting in January. However, because time is an infinite plane and everything that will ever happen has already taken place, the film will stand forever alongside every other Nicolas Cage movie as one of the crown jewels of Nicolas Cage cinema.