Careful What You Wish For (that's the name of the movie)

In this unpredictable year full of celebrity death and incoherent yelling we call 2016, there are only a few things left in this world that we can rely upon. The mediocrity of popular CBS sitcoms, for example, or the fact that McDonald’s Chicken McNuggets only come in four standard shapes. Aside from the comforting sameness of those McNugget shapes, however, one of the most unflappable is what will henceforth be known as the Jonas Constant: Not all movies feature Nick Jonas, but movies featuring Nick Jonas will feature a scene where Nick Jonas takes his shirt off.

It remains to be seen how Jonas will work partial male nudity into his hypothetical role in the new Jumanji film, which Variety says Jonas is negotiating at this very moment. Maybe the game rips his shirt off as it sucks him into the playing board? Or he can appear as some sort of fratboy Tarzan stand-in? Anyway, we’re assuming that’s what’s holding up talks. It’s scary out there, Nick Jonas. Don’t let us down.

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The Jumanji reboot hits theaters, with or without a shirtless Nick Jonas, on July 28, 2017.