Over the Fourth Of July weekend, Americans once more gave voice to their freedom and the noble legacy of shaking off the yoke of colonial oppression by getting drunk and setting things on fire in order to make shiny colors and loud noises. But not everyone participated in this grand bacchanalian tradition of excess and waste the rest of the world sees as the definitive representation of the U.S.A. See, several days earlier, a Twitter user with the handle Makenna had been on Hollywood Boulevard in Los Angeles, checking out the Walk Of Fame, a place where interested tourists can observe metal and concrete tributes to their favorite celebrities, and then step on them.
But amid the pentagrammed salutes to Tinseltown legends like Tom Cruise, Bob Hope, and, uh, The Rugrats, Makenna noticed something was amiss. Namely, the star dedicated to real estate mogul and man who resembles what it feels like to be told you have tuberculosis, current president Donald Trump, had been defaced. Somehow, among the millions of people who have felt the effects of Trump’s regressive and dangerous policies—or maybe just cringe in embarrassment every day they’re reminded of their commander in chief, which has been scientifically proven to be “way too often”—a few hardy souls ventured forth to express their displeasure by adding some graffiti to the star. Mostly classy stuff, like “Fuck You” or a swastika, but still, it was enough to attract Makenna’s concern. So, she did what countless evangelical Christians have done since Trump secured the nomination back in 2016: namely, bury the internal contradictions of proudly supporting a man who embodies nearly every quality they used to condemn as being against the teachings of Jesus, and instead polish a surface-level graven image until it shined with the radiance only hypocrisy can supply.
It will be forever lost to the sands of time what, precisely, inspired Twitter users to take this particular meme football and run with it, but we’re going to hazard some speculation and go with the smug “#RaisedRight” hashtag Makenna added, having apparently not gotten to the part of the Bible about pride goeth-ing before the fall. Because it turns out there are many, many Americans who also believe they have been raised right without the need to literally wipe away the public mockery of a man who once compared Ben Carson to a child molester shortly before offering him a Cabinet position.
It began almost instantly and soon became a tidal wave of ridicule, as fellow social media users who happened to be in Los Angeles also made their way to the Walk Of Fame in order to send up Makenna’s heartfelt and snide tribute to President Trump by declaiming their fealty to a variety of other star-bellied Sneetches.
— dashawn🎀😈 (@dvshvwnXminvj) July 4, 2017
So congratulations to Makenna, self-proclaimed daughter of Christ, for inspiring the latest round of memes incited by people’s dislike of the 45th president. No doubt she is currently celebrating her fame by parlaying it into an appearance on a cut-rate reality TV show, thereby following in the footsteps of HER president, and completing the circle of life. Hakuna Makenna.