TiVo has attempted to answer the question of how long is proper etiquette to wait before discussing a TV show spoiler, surveying 14,673 subscribers who immediately emitted a piercing shriek, then reflectively took to Twitter to write “THANKS FOR THE #SPOILER ASSHOLE.” Once they had settled down, however, and realized that the “spoiler” being discussed was just a theoretical abstract, they provided some answers, thus spoiling the central mystery of the survey. THANKS ASSHOLES.

According to TiVo’s findings, 27.7 percent of respondents believe that “at least a day” should pass, while 10.9 percent voted for two days—and 22.7 percent think that avoidance of spoilers should go on even longer, for an undefined amount of time, possibly until [spoiler] they die. But there was another, far more cavalier segment, 22.5 percent of whom who believe spoilers fair game after less than a day, 12.6 percent who say it’s on as soon as the show is—much like they are on Twitter, unspooling the sort of tweets that made this whole discussion necessary in the first place. Still another 16.6 percent said they “don’t care,” presumably before peeling off on their motorcycles, screaming the ending of Breaking Bad into the whipping wind.


As for exactly how those who do care have been spoiled in the past—and more than 78 percent said they’ve had a movie, TV show, or sports game spoiled at some point in their lives—most said they got their spoilers from news headlines on the Internet (21.2 percent), followed by Facebook (19.6 percent), and live TV (11.1 percent). Specifically, 71.8 percent said headlines like “[Show] Boss Talks About Big Death In Last Night’s Finale” should be considered a spoiler, in addition to being super clunky. Meanwhile, 31.7 percent said a Facebook post like “This week’s episode of [show] was soooooo sad” or a tweet such as “USA!! #worldcup2014” would definitely count as spoilers, yet they will still insist on having social media accounts anyway, just to foster the constant state of outrage that is their natural resting state.

Finally, a mere 6.7 percent of respondents say they believe a headline such as “[Actor] Joining [Show] For Upcoming Season” should count as a spoiler. You can find all of them in my Twitter @ replies.