According to this comically stitled story from Fox News, Bruce Springsteen—"The Boss, as we still call him"—is planning to release a new album with The E Street Band, his first since The Rising. Fox News breathlessly describes Bruce as a "savior" for Columbia Records, incorrectly stating that The Rising "sold better than any previous Springsteen albums." (Surely Fox has heard of a little album called Born In The U.S.A., no?) But entertainment reporter Roger Friedman's enthusiasm is still adorable. To quote (because it's so fun): "When the Springsteen album comes out, I don't want to listen to it on earbuds, but through my Rogue tube amplifier and Sequerra Met 7 speakers. Loud, baby, loud." Aww!