If there’s one thing 2020 has been good for—a fairly big assumption, that—it’s the frequency with which it reminds us of the tenuous nature of life. The world turns and turns and keeps turning, sunrise, sunset, quickly go the days, to everything there is a season, nothing gold can stay, we are dinosaurs and the meteor’s always just a few clicks away. So anyway, there’s a new American Girl in the brand’s line of historical dolls, and she’s from the ’80s.
That’s the 1980s, to be quite clear.
Before we get back to our spiral of existential despair, some facts about Courtney (that’s the doll, the doll is named Courtney) from a press release:
Written by Kellen Hertz, the two-book series introduces girls to Courtney Moore, an avid gamer growing up with her blended family in the fictional town of Orange Valley, CA. Courtney loves going to the mall, especially the arcade, where she’s one of the top-scoring PAC-MAN™ players. But Courtney doesn’t only play video games, she’d like to create them and bring more girl characters to the forefront. When given a chance to create her own video game, Courtney looks to real-life heroes—like her mom, who’s running for mayor, as well as the astronauts on the Space Shuttle Challenger—as inspiration to invent a female superhero who’s bold, brave, and gives Courtney the courage to speak up for the people and ideas she believes in.
That’s all very nice for Courtney, but wow, we are extremely ancient.
You can put Courtney’s hair in a side pony. You can get her some fake Lip Smackers. She’s got bangles and ankle boots and a light-up phone with a cord and everything. Courtney has Care Bears pajamas and a PAC-MAN arcade console. She’s got a Caboodle, for crying out loud. But if you’d really like your brain to melt, consider this:
And finally, for all those original American Girl fans out there, Courtney comes with her very own mini American Girl Molly™ doll—one of the first three historical characters to launch in 1986 by then newly-founded Pleasant Company. Molly comes in a replica of a Pleasant Company™ doll box, a mini version of the original Meet Molly book, and even a mini 1980s Pleasant Company catalogue.
This mean’s Courtney’s family has money! Good for Courtney.
But before we simply turn into fossils, know this: The company is also teaming with Girls Who Code to offer scholarships in science and similar fields, and will also “[match] customer donations dollar for dollar up to a maximum of $50,000 to support Girls Who Code’s programming and outreach to girls, including those from historically underrepresented groups.”
Yes yes yes that’s great, it really is, but all we are is dust in the wind, so. That’s nice.
Send Great Job, Internet tips to firstname.lastname@example.org