A Series Of Unfortunate Events (Photo: Joe Lederer/Netflix)

Netflix has renewed A Series Of Unfortunate Events for a second season. It’ll pick up with the Baudelaire orphans at Prufrock Preparatory School, where they meet an unpleasant girl, take shitty classes, and, as usual, run into Count Olaf in disguise. But they also meet the Quagmires, whose family was shown obliquely in season one.

At VastlyFrighteningDecision.com, Lemon Snicket wrote the announcement himself, bemoaning the continuance of the “so-called family programming”:

Dear Viewer,

It has come to my attention that, despite my repeated warnings, you have viewed the Netflix adaptation of my distressing work, known collectively as “A Series Of Unfortunate Events.” Some of you have even binged, a word which here mans, “Watched several episodes right in a row, despite having much better things to do with your time.”

To my horror, Netflix has been encouraged by this, and funneled their ill-gotten gains toward a second season of this unhappy and unnerving series. Even as we speak, set buildings, costume designers, and trauma specialists are snapping into action, the better to bring you even more upsetting episodes, all because of your reputed enthusiasm for this grim so-called family programming.

I hope you’re happy. Because you won’t be, ever again.

With all due respect,

Lemony Snicket

A release date for season two has yet to be announced.