Neil Cicierega writes songs, makes video games, and routinely epitomizes everything wonderful and baffling about what the youngs think is funny these days. His latest effort is a straight-faced video in which he shares the official nightmare of each state in the U.S.A., and, refreshingly, none of them involve the White House, our impending student loan crisis, or spiders.

Rather, Cicierega’s list runs the gamut between the plausible (Wisconsin’s “Julie Andrews yells at you to shut up”) to the frighteningly whimsical (Kentucky’s “You pick up a hat from the floor and theres a brain underneath!”) to the terrifyingly absurd (Minnesota’s “A surgeon pours Spaghetti-Os into your chest”). All of those, however, sound better than the residents of Nebraska, who are haunted night after night by some kind of “meat ghost.”

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Watch the video above and, for those of you living in Missouri, please listen to Grammy.

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