Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Neat! Somebody mapped out the seating chart from Con Air

Illustration for article titled Neat! Somebody mapped out the seating chart from iCon Air/i
Screenshot: Buena Vista Pictures

Even before attempting to navigate the terrifying logistics of pandemic travel, the general air travel experience tends to fall somewhere between “unpleasant” and “godawful.” But, hey, at least we’ve never had to plop down next to one of the assorted motley crew riding on Con Air, the batshit action wonder from 1997 starring Nicolas Cage. But if we had to pick, just where would we opt to sit? Not next to Dave Chappelle, that’s for sure.

Advertisement

Thanks to the dedicated scholars at Movies, Films and Flix, we can now properly pick our plane buddies in one of the absolute pinnacles of ‘90s action rompers. While our obvious choice would be sitting next to Nicolas Cage’s Cameron Poe and his rich, flowing locks, that spot is taken by his best bud, “Baby-O.Knowing this (and all the zany violence that ensues), our next choice would have to be hanging out in the cargo hold with Poe’s stuffed bunny doll.

Advertisement

Taking it one step further, the MFF crew even went ahead and mapped out the second seating chart on the banged-up plane following their Carson City detour. Honestly, though, we’d still opt for the cargo hold spot, seeing as how the travelers only get rowdier from there. If nothing else, it certainly puts airfare into perspective for 2020.

Send Great Job, Internet seating arrangements to gji@theonion.com

Advertisement

Andrew Paul is a contributing writer with work recently featured by NBC Think, GQ, Slate, Rolling Stone, and McSweeney's Internet Tendency. He writes the newsletter, (((Echo Chamber))).

Share This Story

Get our newsletter