The Voice

Once this presidential election is over, we’ll all be so relieved and exhausted that we might never want to vote on anything again. All decisions will be made by flipping coins or rolling dice, and instead of electing politicians like we do now, an advanced computer system will simply randomly assign all government positions every few years. It won’t be ideal, but at least it will be less stressful than the current system. As a matter off fact, NBC is already getting prepared for this post-democracy world, with The Hollywood Reporter reporting that it has picked up a new music competition show that doesn’t have any traditional voting. Those stupid Founding Fathers are probably rolling in their idiot graves, and we couldn’t be happier.

Called The Stream, the show will judge contestants based on how many views they’re able to get through a dedicated video platform instead of by having people call in and vote for the ones they like. Also, instead of a traditional audition process, aspiring singers will be able to upload their videos to this dedicated video platform and then the 100 performers with the most views will be brought on the show. After that, they’ll be narrowed down by some other process, and the remaining contestants will perform weekly on a live broadcast. The number of streams each person gets will then determine whether or not they stay or go home.


It’s not quite as clean or efficient as our “random assignments from a computer” method, but at least it’ll save viewers the trouble of having to make any actual decisions.