Having recently discovered a fresh cache of “gnome” puns that somehow survived the relentless hoarding of Disney’s Gnomeo And Juliet, Elton John’s Rocket Pictures has announced that he is currently working on a sequel, Gnomeo And Juliet: Sherlock Gnomes, which will turn from Shakespeare to Sir Arthur Conan Doyle for its inspiration, presumably because The Gnomedy Of Errors was deemed too obscure, and Gnomethello way, way too dark. As the title suggests, the film will find Gnomeo and Juliet hiring Sherlock Gnomes—“the greatest ornamental detective,” who is nevertheless also sort of dumb apparently—to solve the mystery of why gnomes have begun disappearing from various gardens.

“Turns out they all gnome-itted suicide so they don’t have to hear any more Elton John cartoon ballads,” Sherlock Gnomes says in our version of the script, shortly before offing himself with carbon gnomoxide poisoning. Gnome gnome gnome. Anyway, “Action detective stories need some gnomes to liven them up—I’m sure Arthur Conan Doyle would agree” is something that producer Steve Hamilton Shaw actually said in an actual statement, before opining on some other stuff that literary genres need and dead people think.

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