Photo: Body Vibes/Goop

Many people have experienced the joy of a fresh batch of Lisa Frank or Garbage Pail Kid stickers, but for all the fun they had slapping unicorns or Ashcan Andys onto lockers and walls everywhere, they probably never once attributed restorative abilities to said adhesives. But they just weren’t being innovative enough, a mistake the people at Body Vibes haven’t made. The stickers they carry have the kind of edgy designs you might find at a face-painting booth, and they can heal you. Apparently, they are preprogrammed to an ideal frequency that will set your internal one straight again after it’s been thrown off balance by things like stress, illness, and common sense.

Photo: Body Vibes

Body Vibes stickers need to be worn left of heart or above it, and are supposedly made of “an exclusive material originally developed for NASA.” See? There’s some science involved. But be careful fixing your frequency, Kenneth, because if left on for the recommended period of time (3 days), the stickers leave marks. Naturally, the Goop staff has caught wind of these things, which are a minor obsession around the office, and have already been written up for the site, space-polymer claims and all. But when Gizmodo reached out to NASA to verify that info, the organization simply responded that there is no “conductive carbon material lining the spacesuits.”

While researching the stickers and their so-called “Bio Energy Synthesis Technology,” Gizmodo traced them back to AlphaBioCentrix and its founder, Richard Eaton. Although he insisted the company’s info was confidential, he did say he’d found “a way to tap into the human body’s bio-frequency,” which is what Body Vibes claim the stickers do, too. So Gizmodo went to Mark Shelhamer, the former chief scientist of NASA’s human research division, who knows a little something about space suit materials, with all this bio-frequency jargon. His response was roughly the same as yours/ours: “Wow. What a load of BS this is.”

He repeated that there’s no carbon material in any space suits, but that if there were, it would reinforce the suit, not monitor an astronaut’s vital signs. Furthermore, “the whole premise [is] like snake oil, the logic doesn’t even hold up,” Shelhamer said. “If they promote healing, why do they leave marks on the skin when they are removed?” That is a good question, and while Goop hasn’t tried to answer it, the site did remove any reference to the space suit material from the Body Vibes post (which is still live) after the Gizmodo article started making the rounds.


[Gizmodo, like The A.V. Club, is owned by Univision Communications.]