Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

NASA just flew a drone on Mars, presumably annoying nearby Martians

Life on Mars
Life on Mars
Photo: NASA/JPL-Caltech (Other)

Just what the hell do you think you’re doing, NASA? Pioneering space exploration and inspiring a whole new generation to look towards the heavens with hope and wonder? Yeah, sure, we imagine some people might find images of humanity’s first controlled aerial flight of a drone on Mars to be an objectively beautiful and poignant respite amidst our everyday, terrestrial turmoil. But for those of us living in the real world, we see the latest Martian escapade for what it really is: a dangerous incitement of our nearest E.T. neighbors (well, next-to-nearest neighbors) to finally head over here and lay waste to our pathetic civilization.

Advertisement

As reported by Business Insider and other publications, NASA’s Ingenuity helicopter made its debut flight from the surface of Mars yesterday, hovering around 10 feet above the ground for 30 seconds before safely landing again for future, lengthier excursions. “Though 10 feet may not sound like much, hovering there is the equivalent of flying three times as high as the peak of Mount Everest, since Mars’ atmosphere has 1% the density of Earth’s,” explains Insider, which okay, yeah that’s pretty impressive.

But still. Martians don’t care about our species’ achievements among the stars. Or, if they do, it’s only to monitor our advancements to make sure we don’t get too cocky. Now that we’ll soon be zipping drones across the Martian landscape, it’s only a matter of time before the locals make their presence known.

So, ask yourselves, NASA: Was the sheer joy of witnessing a rare example humanity’s capability to innovate, work together, and explore the unknown worth it you? We sure hope so.

Send Great Job, Internet tips to gji@theonion.com

Andrew Paul is a contributing writer with work recently featured by NBC Think, GQ, Slate, Rolling Stone, and McSweeney's Internet Tendency. He writes the newsletter, (((Echo Chamber))).