Recognizing that the characters and stories of Jersey Shore are too rich to be contained in a mere five chapters, a handful of ancillary spin-offs, and, hopefully, an eventual multi-volume omnibus novelization that will make Marcel Proust look like a piece of shit, MTV has announced that Jersey Shore will premiere its sixth season on October 4, followed not long thereafter by another season of Snooki And J-WOWW, thus ensuring that not a month will go by without some mention of Snooki's vagina. The network made the announcement today while also giving the prank show Money From Strangers another go-around and previewing previously announced new, non-Jersey Shore-related programs like the sad millennials comedy Underemployed, the Americanized adaptation of BBC hit The Inbetweeners, and Catfish: The TV Show, a reality series based on the 2010 documentary that examines what happens when people who fall in love online meet for the first time and discover that they are even more attractive in person and everything is going to work out great.

"Whether it’s the outrageous and ever-evolving characters on Jersey Shore, the comedic antics of Snooki And J-WOWW, or the emotional and surprising relationship revelations on our new series Catfish, we strive to provide our audience with a diverse slate of innovative programming that provokes and entertains in unexpected ways," programming head Chris Linn actually said with a straight face about a slate dominated by so many pregnant teenagers and drunk Italian people having slight variations on the same fight with each other that each premise requires two different shows apiece. "That was insightful and uplifting," Chris Linn then said to himself.