Although it spent most of early 2011 defending the horny teen drama Skins—watching as advertisers refused to allow their tacos to fuel their sexual escapades and the Parents Television Council called for a federal investigation into the show as child porn, yet pledging to stand by its stars’ animal rutting regardless, perhaps while casually holding a three-ring binder in front of them just so—MTV has announced that it has decided not to pursue a second season. In breaking the news, the network issued a statement saying that while Skins never quite caught on, they “appreciate the core audience that embraced it.” Thank-you notes will be sent to the nation’s prisons shortly. [/golf swing] Anyhoo, those who want to see the adventures of Skins’ overprivileged adolescents continue can always turn to fan fiction; considering every episode description already reads like a fevered masturbatory fantasy crowdsourced on a bulletin board, you’ll hardly be able to tell the difference.