Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

MoviePass reveals customer data breach, adding latest stupid insult to a mountain of idiotic injuries

Don’t even try to talk to us tonight, MoviePass Sundance hospitality suite from 2018; we’re in no mood.
Photo: Daniel Boczarski (Getty Images)

“Insult to injury” is one of those phrases that gets tossed around a lot in certain circles, enough that it can often feel diluted when the time to truly deploy it finally arrives. Which leaves us with something of a conundrum tonight, as we struggle to figure out what to call the news—reported on by Variety—that online movie subscription service/digital Hindenburg MoviePass reportedly left a password off one of its critical servers recently, exposing the credit cards and personal information of thousands of its perpetually disgruntled customers to hackers.

Certainly a fuck-up like this, coming from a company like that, is injurious, and, indeed, insulting. But given how consistently crappy MoviePass has treated its customers—and employees!—over the last handful of years, a phrase that simple also feels inadequate. We’re forced to get poetic here, with our minds racing towards phrases like “adding getting-kicked-in-the-teeth to a-bird-shitting-on-your-nicest-shirt,” or “adding contracting-mono to being-told-you’ve-had-spinach-stuck-in-your-teeth-the-entire-fucking-night.” Too verbose? “Adding fuck-sult to fuck-jury” does feel a little more succinct.

In fact, this is actually the second password-related bit of fuck-jury the embattled company has been revealed to have inflicted on its hapless remaining subscribers of late; a recent report alleged that the company actually forcibly changed the login details on the accounts of some of its most active users, so as to make it harder for them to, well, see movies.

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Per Tech Crunch, the database in question was in its exposed state for the last several months, only getting pulled down this week, so even subscribers who pulled the ripcord on the service—leaving a guileless few to continuing plummeting to the ground with it—might have found some of their data exposed. MoviePass issued a statement about the breach today, presumably investing large reserves of its personal attention and energy into keeping a straight face while pretending to be concerned about having blithely fucked its users yet again:

MoviePass takes this incident seriously and is dedicated to protecting our subscribers’ information. We are working diligently to investigate the scope of this incident and its potential impact on our subscribers. Once we gain a full understanding of the incident, we will promptly notify any affected subscribers and the appropriate regulators or law enforcement.

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Anyway, you might want to take MoviePass emails off your spam filters for a minute here; there might be one you’ll actually want to read coming along soon.

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