After months of back and forth, Morrissey’s autobiography came out today in the U.K., and the contents have proved to be at least a little surprising. While it’s not especially shocking that The Smiths’ frontman’s prose style is incredibly flowery—or the fact that he finally just said he's gay—perhaps it is news that the Mozzer was once asked to be on Friends. The relevant excerpt:

"I am back in the same studio some weeks later to watch a taping of Friends, having been invited to Reprise Records. Friends has become the most popular TV show in the world, showing life as it is commonly lived in America's carefully preserved unreality. The cast is friendly, and I am immediately taken aside by the scriptwriters and asked if I'd jump in on a newly jumbled plotline where I appear with the character Phoebe in the Central Perk diner, where I am requested to sing 'in a really depressing voice.' Within seconds of the proposal, I wind down the fire-escape like a serpent, and it's goodbye to Hollywood yet again."


Other semi-revelations: Morrissey has a fondness for Danish brioche. He's had sexy conversations with David Bowie. He hated it when his friends, like A Certain Ratio frontman Simon Topping, became famous before he did. He’s also not much of a fan of Bryan Ferry, writing at one point that “Roxy Music will drop quickly from the emotional radar soon,” after Ferry “announces that his favorite food is veal—second only to foie gras in savage cruelty.”

The book also includes a letter Johnny Marr wrote to Morrissey, long after The Smiths broke up. In the correspondence (which hopefully Morrissey got Marr's permission to reprint), Marr writes that he regrets not being friends with Morrissey and says he realizes that he never really explained to the singer why he left the band. “To get into it would be horrible, but I will say that I honestly hated the sort of people we became,” says Marr.

The book doesn't have a U.S. release date yet, but copies are already selling on eBay for about $20.