Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Morning, High Hopers! It's time for Mayor Pete's mandatory minute of fun

Illustration for article titled Morning, High Hopers! Its time for Mayor Petes mandatory minute of fun
Photo: David Becker (Getty Images)

Pete Buttigieg—that guy you meet at a bar who seems alright at first because he insists on buying the first round, but then won’t stop showing you and your friends photos from his dog’s official Instagram page—is currently surging in some of the latest Democratic primary polls. While “Any Warm Body Other Than Trump 2020" is a valid bumper sticker to slap on your car these days, many of us can’t help but, y’know, not want him specifically tasked with perhaps our last chance at saving American democracy. His consistently centrist talking points border on meaningless, his actual political history is middling-to-worrisome, and while cute in that insurance-salesman-next-door kind of way, Mayor Pete definitely isn’t “Auschwitz Bae” hot, as his husband recently seemed to imply.

Advertisement

On top of all that, there’s now this cringey new “dance” meme making the rounds online courtesy of his campaign, in which Pete’s Pals (we assume that’s what they call themselves) perform a poorly choreographed jazzercise set to Panic! At the Disco’s “High Hopes” outside his rallies.

Advertisement

That face you are undoubtedly making right now is warranted. Also, you’re not alone...

Advertisement

The rapscallions over on TikTok have also been quick to note that we should all probably take a moment to memorize these dorky-as-hell moves, on the off-chance Mayor Pete manages to ascend into his final form: President Pete.

Advertisement
Advertisement

Honestly, it’s not exactly hard to imagine our Disney+ streams getting interrupted in five years’ time by a maniacally smiling face saying declaring: “Alright everyone, rise and shine! Let’s see those ‘High Hopes’ hands, people! YOU. Yes, you, Resistance Member 045910. We know you can hope higher than that!”

Advertisement

Send Great Job, Internet tips to gji@theonion.com

Andrew Paul is a contributing writer with work recently featured by NBC Think, GQ, Slate, Rolling Stone, and McSweeney's Internet Tendency. He writes the newsletter, (((Echo Chamber))).

Share This Story

Get our newsletter