Expos√©s on emo have been popping up all over local-news programs recently‚Äďand the latest is a doozy. The ABC affiliate in Salt Lake City ran an "investigation" into teen emo culture on Monday, and it's as bizarre, clueless, histrionic, and hilarious as you might expect. Some highlights:

"Emo is found in books, magazines, and even Spider-Man 3."

"Happiness is a cardinal sin in emo culture."

"Advanced emo kids cut themselves."

"Emo fashion is obvious to the eye" (while showing a striped, bright orange polo shirt).

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"Gender-bending is also part of the emo culture. Boys wear girl pants" (while showing a pair of pink-flower-embroidered bellbottoms).

Utah parents are also direly yet tenderly advised to help their children avoid "emo pitfalls" with such helpful suggestions as "Look under those bracelets!" and "Kids who cut themselves should be in therapy immediately." Gee, ya think? Also not to be missed: the reporter who declares, "Suicide, which is the number two cause of death among Utah teens, is also linked to emo culture." Then as sole proof of this connection, he cites Death Cab For Cutie's "I Will Follow You Into The Dark."

To check out the clip, click here. Kudos to punknews.org.

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