Hoping to test the unspoken rule that your subject must be deeply flawed in order to make for an interesting biopic, a movie is in the works about the life of Fred Rogers, a man so unfailingly gentle and beloved that his middle name was “McFeely” and yet no one ever gave him shit about it. Fittingly titled A Beautiful Day In The Neighborhood, the film from Ellen DeGeneres Show staff writer Alexis Jolly—who, again with the apt names—will tell the story of the Presbyterian Church minister who found fame and inspired generations with his children’s show, only to spiral into a hellish cycle of drug abuse and sexual depravity, sparked by harrowing flashbacks to his blood-soaked days as a Marine sniper.
Just kidding: Absolutely none of that happened, and by all accounts Mister Rogers was as soft-spoken and earnest in his personal life as he was his professional. Which means this particular biopic will lack the seemingly obligatory “fall from grace” arc, save maybe a scene where Mister Rogers flies into a frothing rage when someone forgets to hang up their coat. “You’ve made today a special day—by giving me a reason to kick your ass,” he’ll growl, before introducing a bit of hard, two-fisted reality to the Land of Make-Believe.