Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Illustration for article titled Million Muppet March to show Mitt Romney the puppet blood he would have on his hands

Mitt Romney's recent avowal to personally hunt and kill Big Bird, skinning him to make a glorious feathered headdress that he will then wear to his Blood Inauguration as the Exalted Chief of These United States, continues to be a very real and important issue that everyone should focus on instead of other, less brightly colored things. Thus the creation of the Million Muppet March, a demonstration that is now being planned for Washington D.C.'s National Mall on November 3, in order to defend the threatened federal funding for PBS, as well as protect Big Bird from the mean man who wants to murder him. Of course, Sesame Street itself receives "very, very little" federal funding, and focusing on the show as a symbol of PBS's impending plight may seem as misguided as, say, focusing on PBS's relative pittance instead of the billions in wasteful defense spending, or focusing on other things that might be of more crucial consideration in this election. But the important thing is its organizers believe this will be "close to the biggest ever assemblage of puppets in one place, and probably the most ever puppets marching on Washington," at least since Glenn Beck's Restoring Honor rally.


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