Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Mickey Rourke offers to fight "Mr. Tough Guy" Elon Musk in a bare-knuckle boxing match

Illustration for article titled Mickey Rourke offers to fight Mr. Tough Guy Elon Musk in a bare-knuckle boxing match
Photo: Left: Jeff Bottari/Right: SOPA Images (Getty Images)

Mickey Rourke is always watching. If a famous person says something he finds irritating, he knows about it as soon as it happens and is immediately ready to post about beating their asses. First, it was his old nemesis Robert De Niro, who he called a “big fucking crybaby” before swearing “to God on my Grandmother, on my brother and all my dogs” to “embarrass you severally [sic] 100%” in a now-deleted post from a couple of weeks back.

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Now, piqued by a New York Times profile where Elon Musk says “mischievously” that he’d take on Johnny Depp in a cage fight, Rourke has returned, like a knight of old, to challenge Musk to single combat.

Illustration for article titled Mickey Rourke offers to fight Mr. Tough Guy Elon Musk in a bare-knuckle boxing match
Screenshot: Instagram
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“If Elon Musk is in a fighting mood he can fight someone his own size,” Rourke writes. “I’d gladly love the opportunity to take you to school mr. tough guy Elon Musk.”

The gauntlet thrown down, Rourke sets out the terms of combat: “Bare fists, elbows and knees and i will only use one hand -my left.” Rourke proposes that each fighter “put down $200k a piece” and that, when the heavens are finished trembling at this clash of titans, the winner gets the whole pot. “Instead of picking on someone who weighs 130 lbs i am calling your ass out,” Rourke writes, before signing off with “Warmest regards.”

This fight will obviously never happen, but that doesn’t matter. Rourke has shown yet again that he is ever vigilant. And Musk, for the second time in a few days, has seen someone other than Grimes try to take him to task for the endlessly dumb shit he can’t seem to stop himself from saying.

Send Great Job, Internet tips to gji@theonion.com

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Contributor, The A.V. Club. Reid's a writer and editor who has appeared at GQ, Playboy, and Paste. He also co-created and writes for videogame sites Bullet Points Monthly and Digital Love Child.

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