Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Tim Burton’s Johnny Depp-starring adaptation of Dark Shadows needs more than just Eva Green to round out its female cast, even though she is femininity incarnate, incandescent and all-encompassing. So Burton is reportedly considering reteaming with his Batman Returns star Michelle Pfeiffer and casting her to play reclusive matriarch Elizabeth Collins Stoddard, owner of the mansion where Dark Shadows takes place, as well as—just go with us here—Helena Bonham Carter to play Julia Hoffman, the blood-lovin’ doctor who could help Depp’s brooding vampire Barnabas Collins with his problems. Danny Elfman is no doubt staring at his phone. What do you think Danny Elfman's ringtone is? I bet it's something from James Horner, and every time it goes off, Danny Elfman is like, "Ha ha ha ha."


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