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In what sounds like—but, blessedly, is not—the setup for the world’s worst piece of slash fiction, actor Michael Shannon and director Guillermo Del Toro are teaming up to make a romantic movie. Variety is reporting that the two are getting in bed with each other—sorry—for a supernatural romance that might be titled The Shape Of Water.

Shannon is expected to play the villain in the film, invoking Hollywood’s long-standing “C’mon, This Is A No-Brainer” clause. He’ll be attempting to get in the way of the growing love between a “mute laboratory worker” (Sally Hawkins, from the most recent Godzilla movie) and the amphibious fishman she falls in love with, because apparently Guillermo Del Toro can’t go for too long without slapping gills on Doug Jones or he’ll die. (To be clear, Jones hasn’t been cast in the movie yet, but it’s not like the C’mon Clause doesn’t apply for him, either.)


The film—which is set in 1963, and is expected to feature a healthy dollop of Cold War paranois—will also star Richard Jenkins, Octavia Spencer, and Michael Stuhlbarg, which is a pretty great cast for a movie that will likely involve Michael Shannon bugging his eyes and screaming, “CATCH. THAT. FISH.” at the top of his powerful lungs.

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