(Photo: Brazil Photo Press/CON/Getty Images)

There’s no summer Olympics this year, and thus, in what we can only imagine is a desperate move, Michael Phelps has taken to racing sharks. Seriously. As a part of Shark Week—the schedule for which was unveiled yesterday—Phelps will participate in what is being deemed Phelps Vs. Shark: Great Gold Vs Great White. The logistics of how this will work are still unclear, but the event itself is pretty self-explanatory, and Discovery bills it as one “so monumental no one has ever attempted it before.”

And if you just couldn’t help but wonder what Mr. Big has to say about sharks, well, you’re also in luck because Chris Noth is narrating a documentary called Sharks And The City: New York about whether great whites are encroaching on Carrie, Miranda, Samantha, and Charlotte’s hometown. Let’s hope there are puns galore. Other programs include Shark-Croc Showdown, Devil Sharks, and Alien Sharks: Stranger Fins. Eli Roth is hosting the whole week. See the whole schedule over at Deadline.

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