Falling Down

Deriding today’s crop of young American actors as “asexual,” Michael Douglas—a man who’s played everything from a hyper-masculine, greed-driven Wall Street executive to, um, Liberace—has put forth some interesting theories about why British and Australian actors dominate Hollywood, leaving their U.S. counterparts in the proverbial dust.

As reported in Variety, Douglas’ statement is a heady blend of serious critique and “kids these days” invective; for instance, he says, in the U.K. actors take their lessons seriously, with an emphasis on classical training (good point), whereas Americans are too busy fiddling around on social media to pay attention in acting class (okay). “Many actors are getting caught up in this image thing, which is going on to affect their range,” Douglas says.

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But here’s the real kicker: “In the U.S., we have this relatively asexual or unisex area with sensitive young men and we don’t have many Channing Tatums or Chris Pratts, while the Aussies do,” Douglas says, presumably leading a studio executive to scrawl “Australian Magic Mike?!?!” on a notepad and underline it three times. “It’s a phenomena…There’s something going on with young American actors—both men and women—because the Brits and Australians are taking many of the best American roles from them,” Douglas adds, because God knows Hollywood hasn’t been importing masculine sex symbols and worrying American actors were too effeminate for decades now.