Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Michael Bay recounts how Sean Connery could shake down the "Disney Fucking Ivory Tower"

Sean Connery and Nicolas Cage in The Rock
Sean Connery and Nicolas Cage in The Rock
Photo: Hulton Archive (Getty Images)

We all know the rats who run Disney could have us all killed with a snap of their white-gloved fingers, but not everyone is subject to their cruel whims. In a new essay for The Hollywood Reporter, Michael Bay paid tribute to Sean Connery, who died over the weekend, with a story of how the legendary actor had his back on the set of 1996's The Rock.

Advertisement

After telling Connery the Disney brass was on his ass for being a few days over schedule, Connery offered his services. “You want me to help?” he asked, a glint of mischievousness no doubt flashing across his eyes.

Advertisement

Cut to: Having lunch with the Disney execs in a third-grade classroom, sitting at tiny tables and chairs. We looked like giants,” Bay writes. “I announce that Mr. Connery would like to visit and say hi. Sean comes in, sits down across from the open-mouthed executives.”

He continues: “In classic Sean Connery style, he belts out in his Scottish brogue: ‘This boy is doing a good job, and you’re living in your Disney Fucking Ivory Tower and we need more fucking money!!’ Without missing a beat, they responded. ‘OK. How much?’”

Advertisement

Would Liam Neeson do this? Would Bruce Willis? Does this generation’s elder statesmen have the same sway with the studio elite, who, in Lynchian fashion, now only conduct business using code words in shadowy rooms? We’d ask Anthony Hopkins, but he’s probably busy making a TikTok.

Send Great Job, Internet tips to gji@theonion.com

Advertisement

Randall Colburn is The A.V. Club's Internet Culture Editor. He lives in Chicago, occasionally writes plays, and was a talking head in Best Worst Movie, the documentary about Troll 2.

Share This Story

Get our newsletter