Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Confirming that Michael Bay and Megan Fox are the Werner Herzog and Klaus Kinski of our age, Megan Fox has signed on to star in Michael Bay’s upcoming reboot of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, reigniting the turbulent yet effective collaboration that has produced some of cinema’s most memorable poses. As you may recall hearing about, during a year in which every passing production assistant weighed in on it, Fox and Bay had previously parted ways after Transformers 2, with Fox comparing Bay to “Hitler,” Bay sarcastically apologizing for the Holocaust-like conditions of making her work 12-hour days, and Shia LaBeouf babbling about the Spice Girls and making sure everyone knows he had sex with her.

But all that bad blood seems to have dissipated, as Bay announced with an atypically terse blog post, “We are bringing Megan Fox back into the family!” while Variety elaborates that she’s been cast as jumpsuit-filling reporter April O’Neil—just the sort of role that most pleases Daddy. Those still puzzled by their reconciliation can probably look, as all generations hence must, to the Rosetta Stone that is Fox’s infamous recent interview with Esquire, where Fox agrees that she’s basically an ancient Aztec youth forever doomed to the sacrificial ritual of being pretty in dumb movies, but also expresses her desire to be an archaeologist to “uncover the secrets of the universe,” and avows, “I believe in aliens.” Exploitative working conditions or not, it’s a philosophy she and Michael Bay share.


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