In an attempt to appeal to the very specific demographic of nostalgic ex-Party City employees, McDonald’s recently changed the Hamburglar from an orange-faced cartoon character to a scruffy thirtysomething man. This particular incarnation of the sticky-fingered beef thief is married, although, based on a recent commercial featured on The Verge, he keeps his Hamburglar costume stashed in a box in the garage labeled “Yearbooks” so his wife won’t find it. (“Guy Stuff” was too obvious.)
Because women be naggin’ and men be lyin’ to their significant others, the ad—which, in a reflection of McDonald’s recent revenue woes, looks like it was filmed for about $20—features Mrs. Hamburglar interrupting her husband’s pitch for McDonald’s by calling him and asking him if he picked up supplies for what sounds like a child’s birthday party:
— McDonald’s (@McDonalds) May 12, 2015
Ignoring the obvious solution of just sticking the birthday candles in the hamburger—surely any progeny of the Hamburglar would appreciate that—the ad points at deeper problems in the Hamburglars’ marriage. There are so many questions to be asked: Did he change in the car, or did she see him leaving the house in that outfit? Is this a sex thing for the Hamburglar, and that’s why he compulsively visits McDonald’s when he’s supposed to be picking up a birthday cake? Did he and his wife try Hamburglar/Birdie the Bird roleplay once, but she freaked out when he called out Mayor McCheese’s name in the heat of the moment, so now he has to hide it? Is this supposed to be a reference to the episode from the first season of Mad Men where Betty sends Don out to pick up a birthday cake for Sally, but with hamburgers instead of a dog? Can you pay child support in delicious McDonald’s Steakhouse Sirloin Third Pound Burgers, because that’s where all this seems to be heading?
Like we said, many questions.