Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Maybe you'll listen to these very famous people when they ask you not to spread a global virus

Illustration for article titled Maybe youll listen to these very famous people when they ask you not to spread a global virus
Photo: Left: Taylor Swift (Neilson Barnard/Getty Images); Center: Ariana Grande (Neilson Barnard/Getty Images); Right: Mel Brooks (Frazer Harrison/Getty Images)

Sadly, it took one of the world’s most beloved celebrities getting infected by the novel coronavirus for many Americans to begin taking it seriously. Since then, politicians have isolated themselves after being exposed to those with the virus, while familiar faces like Idris Elba and Olga Kurylenko have revealed that they, too, have tested positive for COVID-19. Over the past few days, restaurants and bars have been closing alongside movie theaters and gyms in an effort to slow the spread of the virus, but there’s been plenty of individuals—from reckless millennials and indifferent boomers to smooth-brained Trumpers and gang-affiliated monkeys—who continue to cast their disease-ridden bodies into vulnerable groups.

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This is bad. Maybe the celebs can help?

Several notable names have spoken up about the importance of social distancing during this period. Some, like Elba and Kurylenko, have already contracted the disease. “I didn’t have any symptoms. I got tested because I realized I was exposed to someone who also tested positive,” Elba said in a video posted to his social media accounts. “Look, this is serious. Now’s the time to really think about social distancing, washing your hands. Beyond that, there are people out there who aren’t showing symptoms and that can easily spread it.”

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Ubiquitous pop icons Taylor Swift and Ariana Grande also released statements regarding the importance of self-isolating. “This is the time to cancel plans, actually truly isolate as much as you can,” Swift wrote in an Instagram Story,and don’t assume that because you don’t feel sick that you aren’t possibly passing something on to somebody elderly or vulnerable to this.”

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Grande, meanwhile, asked her fans not to “turn a blind eye,” adding, “It’s incredibly dangerous and selfish to take this situation that lightly.” In a separate tweet, she said that “your hip-hop yoga class can fucking wait i promise.”

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Lin-Manuel Miranda, who just dropped a previously unreleased Hamilton song last week, called staying home “the safe and cool thing to do” in a Periscope stream he started to raise money for The Actors Fund and Broadway Cares. See him perform a live rendition of Hamilton’s “My Shot” below.

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Brandon Flowers of the Killers, meanwhile, has joined the likes of Mariah Carey and Gloria Gaynor in filming a hand-washing PSA set to one of his own tunes, the still-very-good “Mr. Brightside.”

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Hilary Duff had a harsher message. On Sunday, she posted an Instagram Story asking “millennial assholes that keep going out and partying” to “stop killing old people, please.” (This just makes us want to see her “adult” version of Lizzie McGuire that much more.)

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Miley Cyrus also took to her socials, encouraging her fans to prepare for social distancing but not to exhaust the aisles at their local grocery store. “The more we hoard the more expensive and sparse necessities will become, leaving many without essentials,” she wrote. “This is a great time to practice restraint.” Her plea arrived with a relevant Hannah Montana clip, because there’s always a relevant Hannah Montana clip.

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Just because this is all incredibly depressing doesn’t mean that there’s no place for humor. Mel Brooks and his son, Max (author of World War Z), demonstrated that with a video in which they’re separated by a glass door as Max urges fans to think about who in your life you can infect. For example, Max says, he could give it to his dad, who could then give it to Carl Reiner, who could then give it to Dick Van Dyke. “And before I know it I’ve wiped out a whole generation of comedic legends,” he says before Mel shoos him away.

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And, as we shared earlier today, Arnold Schwarzenegger is spending his self-isolation with his mini pony and donkey. “Don’t we have a good time eating here together?” he asks the animals. “So much more fun than going outside. No more restaurants, okay? No more restaurants. Forget all that. Public gatherings, restaurants, and all those gymnasiums? Out the window. We stay home.”

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Good advice for animals and humans alike.

Send Great Job, Internet tips to gji@theonion.com

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Randall Colburn is The A.V. Club's Internet Culture Editor. He lives in Chicago, occasionally writes plays, and was a talking head in Best Worst Movie, the documentary about Troll 2.

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