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Matthew Weiner insists "no one's going to die" on Mad Men, presumably because everyone's already dead

Just as the Internet thought it had finally decrypted the many embedded occult references, Fibonacci sequences, and T-shirts to unlock the clues of interactive murder-mystery Mad Men, its diabolical creator Matthew Weiner has devilishly declared that the game has barely even begun. In an interview with the L.A. Times, Weiner tents his fingers and addresses the many theories that the presumed Megan Draper-Sharon Tate connection means the former will die, has already died, or is being played by a ghost. “I don’t want to spoil anything for people, but after Lane…” Weiner says by way of referring to the late Lane Pryce, who appeared to be the first to join Sterling Cooper & Partners’ growing spectral chorus of the damned. And then, always willing to be his mouthpiece, Elisabeth Moss chimes in, “They’re barking up the wrong tree.”

The hangman’s tree? The tree bearing strange fruit, blood on the leaves and blood on the root? According to Weiner, no: The alleged Tate allusion, he says, was just his way of “solving an argument” with costume designer Janie Bryant, who refused to accept that women of that era commonly wore T-shirts until she produced that photograph, and Weiner decided he wanted that exact same shirt. “Little did I know…” Weiner says, similarly claiming that the inclusion of Rosemary’s Baby was just a reflection of its 1968 popularity, and implying he had no idea Mad Men fans would scrutinize every scene in their feverish hunt to be first to solve Mad Men and collect his $1 million prize. Indeed, it seems Weiner would also have us believe that those are tears Jessica Paré cries, not shimmering trails of ectoplasm. Indeed, it seems Matthew Weiner believes us to be morons.


“It’s just not part of the show. No one’s going to die,” Weiner avowed. Which yes, that makes sense, seeing as no one can die when everyone is already dead. “This season—I didn’t say never!” he quickly added, unwittingly stumbling right into confirming our long-held suspicions that next season will see characters begin to “die” by being "murdered" by trans-dimensional gatekeeper Bob Benson so they can be reborn as vessels of pure light, as alluded to by the show’s frequent use of lamps. Well, well. Cleverly played, Matthew Weiner, but once again it seems you cannot help but show your hand….

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