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Matthew McConaughey won’t be returning for Magic Mike XXL

Apparently no longer filled with the sense of anti-authoritarian defiance that defines a true laaaahhhhwbreaker, Indiewire reports that Matthew McConaughey will not reprise his role as Dallas in the Magic Mike sequel Magic Mike XXL. This is a huge blow, considering McConaughey was pretty much the only interesting thing about that movie and now we have to just sit there and listen to Channing Tatum talk about coffee tables for an hour and a half.

Or maybe not. Steven Soderbergh is returning for the sequel, albeit through a complicated system of fake names and multi-hypenate crew positions so he doesn’t have to come out of “retirement.” Instead, Soderbergh’s longtime assistant director Greg Jacobs is directing the film, and he says Magic Mike XXL will be “very different” from its predecessor.

“It’s [a] road trip movie and put it this way, it’s different enough that once you see it you’ll understand why we made a sequel,” Jacobs says, presumably referring to the varying arrangements of characters and plot points that distinguish feature films from one another. “No one will be accusing us of making the same movie twice.”

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So, even less stripping. Sorry, bachelorette parties! For his part, McConaughey won’t be participating due to his previous commitment to star in Gus Van Sant’s Sea Of Trees, a movie that doesn’t sound like it’s going to have very many naked men in it at all.

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