Never one to miss out on torturing himself with the past, Matthew Fox has filed a lawsuit that whisks us all away to the end of August, when Lost’s surly puppy stood accused of punching a Cleveland party bus driver in the face and crotch, and also nearly breaking Twitter as everyone rushed to make “We have to go back!” jokes. The countersuit—which asks that we examine events we thought we knew from a different angle, and look closer for symbolic significance—argues that the allegations made by Fox’s professed victim, Heather Bormann, are completely false, and that Fox was the one provoked and assaulted after he attempted to board her party bus. (Which is, sadly, not a euphemism.)
Fox is asking for a jury trial and unspecified damages, claiming that the resulting media attention surrounding her case has led to Fox suffering “public hatred, contempt, ridicule, and shame,” as well as causing him to miss out on “a number of jobs,” all thanks to the negative publicity generated by sites like TMZ. And in reporting on its own culpability, TMZ went with the headline “Matthew Fox Sues Alleged Vagina Punch Victim” and the lede, “Matthew Fox is striking back—not in the vagina, in court.” So, he sort of has a point.