Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Mastodon launches cooking show by making a pizza out of a vinyl record

Illustration for article titled Mastodon launches cooking show by making a pizza out of a vinyl record
Screenshot: Mastodon

Mastodon has always kept busy with non-musical projects. Over the years, the band has worked with coffee companies, whittled artisanal wooden dicks, sold coloring books, transformed themselves into hard-rocking movie theater concession stand food for Aqua Teen Hunger Force, and tried in vain to fight off armies of snow zombies on Game Of Thrones. Now, eager to get the most out of the pun that titles their recently released Medium Rarities compilation album, they’ve started a cooking show.

The first installment of Cooking With Mastodon stars bassist/singer Troy “Chef Troyardee” Sanders giving a tutorial for how to make homemade pizza out of old records and almost-rotting ingredients. Lightly dusted with filth and wearing a Mastodon apron, chef’s hat, and a beard net made out of a sandwich bag and two clothes pegs, Sanders demonstrates the steps needed to make the dish he’s “marginally famous” for creating.

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Everything begins with the crust: A vinyl record that, after being set down “on a clean or dirty plate, whatever’s at your disposal,” is covered with a sauce made from “locally grown tomatoes, imported” as a base. The next step, of course, is adding cheese—ideally made from your pet goat’s milk. For toppings, Sanders uses Norwegian horse meat and a green pepper that’s just old enough to be nearly rotten (that’s when the “flavor is at its peak”). Smash those up with a hammer, sprinkle on some freshly-ground flour, and the pizza is ready to go.

The video’s Facebook description promises another episode of Cooking With Mastodon next week, so we have a little while yet to perfect our record-pizza techniques before taking on other dishes, like, if we’re lucky, a delicious spaghetti made out of cassette tape innards.

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[via Consequence Of Sound]

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Contributor, The A.V. Club. Reid's a writer and editor who has appeared at GQ, Playboy, and Paste. He also co-created and writes for videogame sites Bullet Points Monthly and Digital Love Child.

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