Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Master of social distancing tries to camp on abandoned Disney island, gets arrested for trespassing

Illustration for article titled Master of social distancing tries to camp on abandoned Disney island, gets arrested for trespassing
Screenshot: Discovery Island (YouTube)

A trope of post-apocalyptic fiction is a survivor taking over a recognizable cultural landmark as their own, using the walls of something like a museum or a bombed-out White House as protection against the zombie hordes or roving gangs of cannibals. It’s a smart and easy way to both improve your chances for survival and make a statement to the wasteland about how important and fearsome you are (because you’re obviously a big deal if you’re the guy filling the shattered remains of the Oval Office with the skulls of your enemies). The only problem with that approach is that you have to pull the trigger on it at the right time—too late and somebody will start unpacking their skulls before you, too early and, well, you might start moving in before society has completely collapsed.

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That seems to be what happened to a man named Richard McGuire, who was recently arrested for breaking onto Disney World’s abandoned Discovery Island (via Variety). He apparently had been planning to stay for “approximately one week” and missed all of the “no trespassing” signs because he thought the island was just a “tropical paradise” (even though there are a lot of buildings Disney left behind when it abandoned the place). In his defense, it could just be a matter of time before this pandemic rolls over into a full-on apocalypse, and an abandoned island surrounded by the natural protection offered by an empty theme park would be a really good place to claim as your lair.

Unfortunately, if that is what McGuire had in mind, he tried to claim the island too early. Disney World has been closed since March, but there are still, you know, police and Disney’s armed Mouse Guard enforcing laws out there. McGuire was charged with a misdemeanor for trespassing and was “banned from all Disney properties,” which means Discovery Island is now fair game for any other survivors—just please wait until society has actually collapsed, because otherwise you are breaking the law and that is still bad.

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If you’d like to see this tropical paradise for yourself, here’s a cool/spooky video taken by a bad criminal who should be ashamed. Also: We know the Mouse Guard isn’t real, Disney is a nice company without a secret paramilitary force. 

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