Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

After days of unofficial photos featuring rubber pigs and wooden spaceships, Disney has officially released this first marginally more animated photo of actual human cast member Mark Hamill posing next to someone dressed as Mickey Mouse. Hamill is looking admirably trim and on-brand as he stiffly wields his lightsaber next to the cartoon mascot, his eyes filled with the resignation that this is his life now—mimicking the motions of his most famous character while standing next to giant mice, at the behest of corporate masters whose bidding it is that he go to Orlando and do what must be done (i.e. participate in theme park photo ops).

As you can see, the Episode VII version of Luke Skywalker will likely sport a beard—the facial hair preferred of all Jedi mentors, as well as men old enough to recognize the importance of fulfilling the publicity clauses of their contracts. “It is unavoidable, ha ha! It is your destiny, ha ha! You, like your father and all related intellectual property, are now mine, ha ha!” Mickey Mouse chirps in his singsong way. Mark Hamill searches his feelings—and his cargo pants—and knows it to be true.


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