Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Mariah Carey and Marilyn Manson, together at last

Photo: Mariah Carey (Getty Images); Marilyn Manson (Kevin Winter/Getty Images

Like seasonal romantic comedies love to remind us—opposites can attract in the most unlikely ways. One minute, two hapless strangers find themselves sitting next to each other on a delayed flight during the holidays, hating each other’s zany seat-mate quirks, and 90 minutes later they’re making-out on a snowy tarmac, baggage terminal conveyor belt, or somewhere equally adorable.

So...uh...ever wonder what the auditory equivalent of a Christmas rom-com would sound like? No? Well, ‘tis the season for holiday surprises, right?

Yep. Here’s “All I Want For Christmas Is The Beautiful People” by “Mariah Manson,” courtesy of Bill McClintock, who’s been churning out weird, surprisingly catchy mashups for a few years now.

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This year coincidentally marks the 25th anniversary of Mariah Carey’s holiday insta-classic, “All I Want for Christmas is You,” but you’d be forgiven for thinking it was celebrating some kind of major anniversary every damn year, since Carey’s octave-defying crooning generally starts showing up in department store speakers and holiday work parties around mid-November.

2019 is also the 23rd anniversary of Marilyn Manson’s “The Beautiful People,” also one of his most recognizable, speaker-thundering songs. While there’s not exactly anything particularly notable about that milestone, it’s still arguably one of the most anti-All I Want For Christmas” tunes ever. Nothing says, “Screw you, Mom and Dad, I don’t wanna go to Grandma’s house to celebrate your corny, capitalist holiday cheer” like Marilyn Manson, right? But combine both songs, and it works a Christmas miracle. Which, of course, only means one thing...

Netflix, we’re begging you: A Very Marilyn and Mariah Christmas Special for the 2020 holiday season.

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About the author

Andrew Paul

Andrew Paul's work is recently featured by Rolling Stone, GQ, The Forward, and The Believer, as well as McSweeney's Internet Tendency and TNY's Daily Shouts.