It’s apparently impossible for the conspiracy theorists to accept that a global pandemic can occur without any mustache-twirling villains planning it out step-by-step beforehand. While there are plenty of xenophobic morons out there ready to blame the spread and terrible impact of coronavirus on nefarious Resident Evil-style national projects (instead of, y’know, basic systemic ineptitude and bureaucratic callousness), we’d rather focus on a more entertaining theory: Captain America warned us COVID-19 was coming nine years ago.
This idea was shared by William Mullally , who tweeted out an image given to him by “a friend who’s fully into the COVID conspiracies ... that says Captain America predicted the coronavirus outbreak in 2011.” The screenshot contains all sorts of feverish horseshit theorizing, ranging from the usual touchstones of evil Masons and the Obama presidency to some extra horrible garbage about the murder of George Floyd, but the key feature of it all is a still from the superhero movie. In it, we see Chris Evans standing in Times Square with a billboard for Corona beer on one side of him and another showing something that looks like a microscope slide of the coronavirus itself on the other.
Coincidence?! Yeah, of course!
Still, despite the fact that this is obviously nonsense, Mullally decided to get to the bottom of the screenshot anyway. Honing in on the billboard on the image’s right, he began focusing on what it could be advertising, starting with the possibility that it was an advertisement for Divergent before narrowing the search down to the exact day the scene was filmed.
From here, he completed the exhausting work of looking through “every movie and Broadway show released from April through the summer” and combing “random YouTube videos” from the month. At the same time, his friend began “scouring Bing and Google Street View.”
At last, they found a better image. Here, at last, was the missing puzzle piece that could, perhaps, expose the pandemic as an intricately plotted conspiracy or open our minds to the possibility that every Marvel movie contains tiny clues as to our global future.
After delving so far into the mystery, Mullally used this image to crack the code and share what he found.
Some may think this is anticlimactic, but we understand that Mullally has led us to the place where the real work begins. That’s right: It’s time to investigate how Big Pasta caused coronavirus.
Send Great Job, Internet tips to email@example.com