Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Look at the shitty haircut Chris Evans gave his dog

Illustration for article titled Look at the shitty haircut Chris Evans gave his dog
Photo: NurPhoto (Getty Images)

Pity Chris Evans’ dog. Despite being tended to by a man who probably possesses more wealth and power than many national leaders, even this poor dog has not been able to escape the embarrassment of the quarantine haircut. He, like so many out there, has suffered the effects of an overly confident amateur stylist—and, even worse, has had his shame etched into digital posterity by having it shared on a celebrity’s Twitter account.

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Look at this dog. Born a noble creature, formed by nature into exactly the animal he needs to be, Chris Evans’ dog Dodger now looks like a real asshole. “I guess some things are better left to the professionals,” Evans writes in his tweet, and, taking in the chunks of missing fur and dog bowl-cut shaped around the neck, we must agree.

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In order to reassure this famous dog that he is not alone in his indignity, the people of Twitter shared their own canine hack jobs. Here, for example, is one that looks as if it was lightly run over by a lawnmower.

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And here is one that, while doing much better than the dog above, now kind of just resembles a sodden bathmat with eyeballs.

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Apparently eager to show the world that there are other celebrity dogs with cuts as goofy as Evans’ pal, Zelda Williams shared a photo of her guy, whose back she perfectly describes as looking “like a corn field.”

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Truly, none of us—rich or poor, human or dog—can escape the minor inconveniences of being quarantined in our homes during a pandemic. If anything, it’s nice that Evans—who has long been established as an honorary canine himself—has used his platform not just to help raise money for charity during a frightening time, but also to remind the world’s dogs that they are not alone in looking like absolute dorks right now.

Send Great Job, Internet tips to gji@theonion.com

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Contributor, The A.V. Club. Reid's a writer and editor who has appeared at GQ, Playboy, and Paste. He also co-created and writes for videogame sites Bullet Points Monthly and Digital Love Child.

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