Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Logan Paul trying to sell $90,000 couch he calls one of his only “two regrets in life”

Illustration for article titled Logan Paul trying to sell $90,000 couch he calls one of his only “two regrets in life”
Screenshot: YouTube

Logan Paul has made some choices in his life, some bad, some very bad, and some terribly, woefully bad. That, of course, hasn’t stopped the YouTuber from becoming rich beyond anyone’s wildest dreams. So rich is Paul that he apparently spent $90,000 on a hideous couch for his L.A. mansion. This, he says, is “one of two regrets in my life.”


“Look. I know spending $90,000 on a couch is FUCKING STUPID. It’s one of the two regrets in my life,” he wrote via Instagram Story. But that’s not important right now. What’s important is YOU and YOUR new couch, supplied by me. I can fulfill all your luxurious sitting needs. You need a rest? You need a couch. So, how much is a used $90,000 couch from a rich YouTuber going for these days? Well according to Paul’s ACTUAL CRAIGSLIST POST, this 10-seater “Mercedes Benz Sofa” can be yours for the low, low, not-at-all-class-war-inducing price of $20,000!

“This unique crescent shaped Mercedes Benz sofa was bought new 2 years ago for 90,000,” reads the ad. “As we redesign our home it no longer fits in. This couch can comfortably sit over 10 people and its unique crescent shape allows for it to be configured in either a circle or an ‘S’ design. Send an email for any further questions.”

This all, of course, begs the question: What is this mysterious single other “regret” of Logan’s life? We’re assuming he’s referring not to the time he tasered a dead rat, but rather to his infamous trip into Japan’s Aokigahara forest—a.k.a the “Sea of Trees, aka the “Suicide Forest”—a wooded area in the island nation infamous for its strangely concentrated number of, well, suicides. Paul’s excursion included him filming some poor soul’s corpse to a soundtrack of “Whoa, bro” and “That’s gnarly” declarations, prompting an immediate and well-warranted backlash.

But hey, maybe he’s been able to self-rationalize that obscene life choice, and he regrets some other incident from his past. Could it be his hilarious I hate being hated” interview? Talking about his pink eye on Fox Business? Hosting unhinged conspiracy theorist Alex Jones on his podcast? The possibilities really do seem to be endless.

Send Great Job, Internet tips to gji@theonion.com


Andrew Paul is a contributing writer with work recently featured by NBC Think, GQ, Slate, Rolling Stone, and McSweeney's Internet Tendency. He writes the newsletter, (((Echo Chamber))).