Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Lockdown seems to have made it easier to become a TikTok time traveler

Bill And Ted’s Excellent Adventure
Bill And Ted’s Excellent Adventure
Screenshot: Shit Idea

In recent years, the hundreds (perhaps even thousands) of time travelers currently wandering the Earth have begun to share their future-wisdom through the internet. Back in 2018, for example, the chrononauts came to YouTube, finding the video platform an ideal home for their incredible tales of life in the world to come. Now, armed with the foreknowledge that TikTok will eventually become humanity’s top mode of communication in the ensuing decades, these time travelers have returned with more strange knowledge.

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The Daily Dot’s Audra Schroeder first chronicled the rise of the TimeTokkers last summer when people like the aptly-named 2028man and his rival 2029man arrived in our era, nude and surrounded by crackling electricity, to start posting about what they’d seen in the future. 2028man, having traveled back to 2020 to help us navigate a terrible year, prophesied the election of Joe Biden, the forcible removal of Trump as president, and the death of “90 percent of the population. 2029man, on the other hand, warned that “Lil Uzi Vert will be exposed as an alien” (which hasn’t happened yet, but... fair enough) and, as Schroeder points out, seems to have cribbed his prediction of a “great collapse” from Skyrim.

Yesterday, Schroeder provided an update on the TikTok time travelers, this time focusing on a Spanish man who goes only by Javier. While 2028man has since deleted his account, likely fleeing the pursuit of dimension-hopping chronocops, people like Javier have arrived to pick up where he left off. His account, unicosobreviviente, consists of Javier’s travels through the year 2027, where he currently lives after “[waking] up alone at a hospital in Valencia, Spain.” Javier posts videos of abandoned stores, streets, and buildings as he faces the grim reality of being the only person alive in the terrible future.

A strange coincidence in all of these stories is that they take place during a pandemic when people are both anxious about an uncertain future, bored at home, and—in Javier’s case—during a lockdown that leaves usually busy city streets and stores deserted. Naysayers will use this as an excuse to doubt these prophets. We, however, refuse to take any chances. The rest of you may be surprised when Uzi calls in the mothership or Javier finally discovers the secrets of time travel, but we won’t be.

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Contributor, The A.V. Club. Reid's a writer and editor who has appeared at GQ, Playboy, and Paste. He also co-created and writes for videogame sites Bullet Points Monthly and Digital Love Child.