As first reported by TMZ and then scattered to the winds, a “source close to Lindsay Lohan”—who is definitely not Dina Lohan, why would you say that?—claims that Lohan’s representatives have had “multiple phone conversations” with producers of the upcoming Superman reboot, two-way conversations that took place on a phone that was connected to another phone and everything. Rumor further has it that while Lohan would not be playing Lois Lane, she is up for a “major character” in the film. (“It may or may not be Superlady—I’ve said too much already!” this source may as well have said.) Please note that “kryptonite” is not technically a character.

Anyway, adding further complication to this story is the fact that Lohan is reportedly so unreliable—and more importantly, uninsurable—that she was deemed too toxic to star in a movie where she has sex with dogs, and the fact that both Superman’s producer Christopher Nolan and director Zack Snyder are native to Earth and, presumably, capable of reading. And then, of course, Lohan is reportedly due to be charged with felony grand theft tomorrow for allegedly stealing a necklace, which is a TMZ story that is slightly more plausible. But hey, maybe this kind of casting rumor might finally get this little Superman movie some attention, and thus we dutifully pass it on to you.

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