Lifetime has decided to turn its original movie Lizzie Borden Took An Ax into an original series starring Christina Ricci, prompting a collective, gleeful cry of ā€œTina! Bring me the ax!ā€ from middle-aged gay men and your author alike. Having sadly rejected the alternate title Lizzie Borden 2: Still Choppinā€™, the six-part series will be called Lizzie Borden: The Fall River Chronicles and will focus on Bordenā€™s celebrity life after being acquitted of the 1892 murder of her father and stepmother, as well as, presumably, her difficulty getting anyone to go to the Lumberjack Festival with her each autumn. Rogueā€™s Cole Hauser will co-star as Charlie Siringo, a detective who becomes suspicious when people close to Lizzie, including her half-brother, begin dying under mysterious and unnaturalā€”although not necessarily ax-basedā€”circumstances. (Cā€™mon, give her a little more credit than that.)

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