Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Lifetime and KFC made a horny little movie about Colonel Sanders starring Mario Lopez

Illustration for article titled Lifetime and KFC made a horny little movie about Colonel Sanders starring Mario Lopez
Photo: Moses Robinson, Robyn Beck (Getty Images)

Lifetime and KFC have tried their very best to deliver an entirely unexpected and novel collaboration: A “mini-movie” about a hunky Colonel Sanders, played by Mario Lopez. Joke’s on these dumb-dumbs because our capacity to be shocked by literally anything has been completely evaporated by this haunted house of a year. Still, it’s a thoughtful gesture from the House of Lifetime Originals (an icon) and the House of Original Recipes (a classic):

A Recipe For Seduction will attempt to get Lifetime viewers all horned-up for the old chicken tycoon, which honestly feels like blatant erasure of all the Colonel Sanderses we’ve loved before, including Norm Macdonald, Jason Alexander, and yes, even Reba. 

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The “mini-movie” event premieres December 13 at noon, presumably online so as not to interfere with whatever shitty holiday movie marathon is airing on the Lifetime channel that day. Lifetime has not released additional info about A Recipe For Seduction, but based on this tweet it appears to be a self-aware steamy romance parody in which the Colonel’s famous secret recipe of herbs and spices will be discussed in vaguely sexual terms between Mario Lopez and his love interest. And while plot details are non-existent, it seems fairly obvious that the secret ingredient in the Colonel’s recipe is his semen. He might try to tell you it’s “love” or whatever, but it is most definitely come.

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