Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Let’s watch Mark Zuckerberg squirm, shall we?

Photo: Xinhua News Agency (Getty Images)

Billionaire technocrat and Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg visited Capitol Hill yesterday to answer questions regarding Project Libra, the social media monolith’s new foray into cryptocurrency, which is a completely normal sentence that doesn’t blur the lines between reality and Neuromancer. And while, yes, technically some questions were answered regarding Facebook’s newest (and totally not doomed to further destabilize a shaky society it’s already helped erode) venture, the hearing quickly transitioned into what everyone hoped it would be—a congressional interrogation of Zuckerberg about his many egregious sins. And, yes, it’s about as delicious as one could hope.

We’ll allow you a moment to refill your cup of coffee, hook up your headphones, and settle in to what is now ostensibly ASMR of Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez once again crushing it.

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Ready? All right, here we go.

Ahhh, now that’s more like it. Hey, need more of that sweet, sweet beatdown? No problem, we don’t blame you, it’s been quite the week. Here’s an even longer clip of their exchange.

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Now watch Representative Joyce Beatty school Zuckerberg on the basics of civil rights history, and why that probably should matter to him.

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Did you know Facebook has an entire team of people dedicated to reviewing and removing some of the worst images ever committed to video every time an atrocity is reported on the website? Were you aware they do this for $15 an hour and without mental health benefits to cope with a job that, once again, seems ripped straight from a William Gibson novel? Go get ’em, Representative Porter.

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Will all this eventually help result in sorely needed curtails to Zuckerberg’s unrestrained internet behemoth? We really, truly hope so. Until then, we’ll have to content ourselves with watching and rewatching these takedowns, presumably as Mark plots his next moves from the Villa Straylight orbiting Earth.

Send Great Job, Internet tips to gji@theonion.com

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About the author

Andrew Paul

Andrew Paul's work is recently featured by Rolling Stone, GQ, The Forward, and The Believer, as well as McSweeney's Internet Tendency and TNY's Daily Shouts.