Screenshot: Record Setter

In a 2002 episode of The Simpsons called “Sweets And Sour Marge,” Homer briefly becomes obsessed with setting a new world record, only to learn from an expert that “all the individual records were set by crackpots who half killed themselves.” A site called Record Setter serves as a community for just such crackpots. Billing itself as “The Home Of World Records,” its mission is to document and publicize successful world record attempts. The site’s own official YouTube channel claims that a number of celebrities, including Jimmy Fallon and Nicole Richie, have used Record Setter in their own bids for immortality. The site is apparently popular with internet personalities as well. One such prominent netizen is George Gaspar of the Toy Break website. When he’s not reviewing “designer vinyl, plush, action figures, and more in the wonderful world of toys,” Gaspar nurses dreams of holding his very own world record. On February 4, 2009, Gaspar turned those dreams into reality when he successfully inserted a whopping 2,222 toothpicks into his beard. Gaspar’s wife, Ayleen, was on hand to record this stunt, and Record Setter is now sharing the footage with the world.

As the tape shows, Gaspar is stoic and patient while the lower half of his head slowly begins to resemble a spiky sea urchin. Some judicious editing and time-lapse keep this down to a mere minute of YouTube time, but it seems like some hours were probably expended in this endeavor. Occasionally, the bearded man’s wife says something encouraging like, “Let’s go for more than 2,000 toothpicks in a beard!” And, by and by, the thing is accomplished. Surprisingly, Gaspar seems to be in no great discomfort and can even speak with all those toothpicks lodged into his facial hair. Had the camera kept rolling, the world might have also gotten to see the world’s most anticlimactic, post-record beard cleanup and toothpick disposal. Another record for another time, perhaps.

[via Laughing Squid]