Photo: Mandel Ngan/Getty Images

Walking metaphor for American decline Donald Trump ran on pretty much one thing, which was building a big-ass, beautiful wall along our southern border. And while he ordered construction on the wall to begin immediately upon entering office, and has portioned off billions in his proposed budget for it, it remains one of those sticky issues that is much easier to yell at a crowd about than, you know, actually act upon. Like the American health care system, nobody probably knew constructing a border wall could be so complicated.

However, in a clear signal to his base that, goddamn it, the wall will be built, the Trump administration has released a series of preliminary requirements for the big, beautiful wall, and they are fucking great:

That’s right: the big, beautiful wall must be 1) big, 2) beautiful, and 3) a wall. This is the exact sort of bull-headed tautology that could only emerge from Trump himself, which is perhaps why, as New York points out, it made for such immediate and fertile fodder on Twitter.

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Yes, our builder in chief is a builder, and he builds great things, sometimes using immigrant labor. Surely this wall will be no different, perhaps pulling from the gold and marble opulence of his own Trump Tower, or perhaps from the nonexistence of his eponymous university. Construction on the economy-saving structure will presumably begin as soon as Trump’s mythically great health care plans are willed into being.

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