Here’s some bad news for fans of cute lower-class boys who prove much more brave and charming than the snobby rich assholes who your parents want you to marry: After he finishes filming The Revenant—the movie where he gets mauled by a bear—Leonardo DiCaprio is going to metaphorically let go of your hand and let himself drop into the bottom of the ocean. In other words, he’s going to take a break from acting. This comes from The Hollywood Reporter, which says that—because of his decision to take this break—DiCaprio won’t be able to play Steve Jobs in Danny Boyle’s biopic about the Apple co-founder. So much for that The Beach reunion.
Losing DiCaprio is a pretty big setback for the high-profile project—it features an Aaron Sorkin script in addition to Boyle directing—but it sounds like the producers at Sony have some other names lined up for who could take on the role of the iconic inventor of the MP3 player, the cellphone, and the fruit known as “the apple.” Other than Christian Bale, who was already being considered before DiCaprio, the frontrunners are apparently Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, and Bradley Cooper. We think Ashton Kutcher would make a good Steve Jobs, though. Has anyone noticed that the two of them look vaguely similar? That’s worth basing an entire movie around.